The Hidden Impact of Speech and Language Delays on Behavior and Emotions

Guest Blog Written by Sonia Rita Chowdhury Lopez, M.S., CCC-SLP

Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist specializing in early communication and

regulation

When young children struggle with behavior, adults often focus on what they can see: tantrums, refusal, impulsivity, withdrawal, or big emotional reactions. These behaviors are frequently labeled as “defiance,” “emotional sensitivity,” or “immaturity.” For many toddlers and preschoolers, challenging behavior is not the root issue. It is a signal. Very often, behavior is a child’s way of communicating when words, understanding, or expressive language are not yet available.

Behavior Is Communication

Young children rely on communication to make sense of their world. When they cannot clearly express their wants, needs, thoughts, or emotions, or when they struggle to understand what is being asked of them, behavior often fills the gap.

This can show up as:

• Tantrums during transitions or changes in routine

• Hitting, throwing, or pushing when frustrated

• Withdrawing or shutting down in group settings

• Big emotional reactions to seemingly small challenges

These behaviors are not intentional misbehavior. They are often the result of a child experiencing repeated communication breakdowns without the tools to repair them.

The Emotional Toll of Communication Challenges

When speech and language delays go unrecognized, children may begin to internalize frustration in ways that impact emotional development.

Over time, children with unmet communication needs may experience:

• Increased anxiety or overwhelm

• Difficulty regulating emotions

• Low confidence or avoidance of interaction

• Feelings of being misunderstood or ignored

For some children, this emotional load becomes visible through behavior. For others, it shows up quietly through withdrawal, passivity, or reluctance to engage.

In both cases, the child is doing their best with the skills they have.

Why Behavior Strategies Alone May Fall Short

Many families are advised to try behavior-based strategies first such as reward systems, consequences, or structured behavior plans. While these approaches can be helpful in certain situations, they may fall short when the underlying issue is communication.

If a child:

• Cannot understand multi-step directions

• Lacks the words to ask for help

• Struggles to express emotions like frustration or disappointment

• Has difficulty processing spoken language

Then behavior strategies alone may not address the root cause. Without communication support, children are often expected to “behave better” without being given the tools to do so.

How Speech and Language Support Helps Regulation

Speech and language therapy does far more than address articulation or vocabulary. For young children, communication support is closely tied to emotional regulation and behavior.

Speech-language therapy can help children:

• Learn functional language for requesting, protesting, and repairing breakdowns

• Develop words and phrases for emotions and internal states

• Improve understanding of routines, expectations, and transitions

• Reduce frustration by increasing clarity and predictability

As communication improves, many families notice changes in behavior. Not because the child is being “managed,” but because they are finally being understood.

Reframing the Conversation for Parents

When behavior challenges arise, it can be tempting to wait and see if a child “outgrows it.” While development does vary widely, persistent communication challenges deserve attention, especially when they impact daily routines, relationships, or emotional well-being.

Seeking speech and language support early does not label a child or assume a worst-case scenario. Instead, it provides tools that support: Communication, emotional regulation, confidence, and connection with others. Early support offers children more options and gives families clarity, not pressure.

What Parents Can Do Next

If you are noticing behavior concerns alongside communication challenges, consider:

• Observing when and where behaviors occur

• Noticing patterns related to language demands or transitions

• Modeling simple, functional language during daily routines

• Seeking an evaluation to better understand your child’s communication profile

  
  

Trusting your instincts matters. Parents are often the first to recognize when something feels off, even when concerns are subtle.

About the Author

Sonia Rita Chowdhury Lopez, M.S., CCC-SLP is a pediatric speech-language pathologist and founder of Speechie Auntie, a private pediatric speech therapy practice based in Leander, Texas. She has more than 13 years of experience supporting toddlers and preschoolers with speech delays, language delays, feeding difficulties, and communication challenges across early intervention, special education, and home-based settings. After earning her master’s degree from Columbia University, Teachers College, Sonia built a practice centered on ethical, family-centered care that blends research-based, play-based speech therapy with parent coaching. She is passionate about neurodiversity-affirming therapy and helping families understand the connection between communication, behavior, and emotional regulation.

Meet Sonia: https://www.speechieauntie.com/home/#meet-sonia

Visit Speechie Auntie: https://www.speechieauntie.com/